Notre Dame Wins Again

Posted on Posted in Uncategorized
Yesterday, the A.C.C. made a very sound financial decision in letting Notre Dame join their conference in every sport, and Notre Dame Football strengthened its Independence by using George Costanza’s, “It’s not you.  It’s me…” excuse. 
            In terms of revenue generation, Notre Dame is the goose that laid a golden egg, no pun intended. The A.C.C. just received a cash infusion, courtesy of the leprechaun that I always pity. The name Notre Dame demands attention, national coverage, and will increase ticket sales exponentially for every sport. In economic terms, it was the easiest decision that the A.C.C. has made since letting Florida State, Miami and Virginia Tech join. However, they emasculated themselves by allowing the Fighting Irish to keep their Independence. Notre Dame Football dictated the terms of the relationship, and the A.C.C., like the pathetic loser just trying to keep the much more attractive female in the relationship happy (I speak from experience), blindly accepted the deal, as the Golden Domers flashed their Irish Eyes and a gigantic wad of cash.
Not only did Notre Dame build in excuses to end games with their B1G rivalries by pointing the agreement with the A.C.C. and saying, “It’s out of our hands!” They also, in all probability, handpicked the five A.C.C. opponents added to the schedule. If I were the Notre Dame Athletic Director, and I had not already hanged myself, I would look at the A.C.C. and say, “Let’s play the following five teams:  Duke, North Carolina, Virginia, N.C. State, and Maryland. And three of the five games we get at home every year.” Why would they schedule games against Miami, Florida State, or Virginia Tech? 
Notre Dame said that they will keep the U.S. Naval Academy, Stanford University, and the University of Southern California on their schedules indefinitely. Thanks for that. Stanford’s better days ended when Jim Harbaugh decided not to come here (David Brandon should have just PAID HIM THE MONEY), and when the Indianapolis Colts decided Andrew Luck was a more viable option than Peyton Manning. The U.S. Naval Academy has an average program but lost to ND by 40 this year, so, other than the Charlie Weis era, Notre Dame can move that into the “W” column.  The only difficult opponent remains the Trojans, which any Fighting Irish fan will say is a very flawed team.
A move to the B1G made the most sense for Notre Dame. There are already three natural rivalries with Purdue, Michigan State, and Michigan, and an annual meeting with Ohio would provide the Irish fans a glimpse of the horror of playing a game in front of fans who had to be publicly reminded to respect the United States’ Naval Academy team and fans.  Academically and geographically, Notre Dame fit as well.  The only problem is that the Fighting Irish could not dictate to the B1G which teams they would play. Notre Dame wanted to control every aspect of the relationship, and the B1G would not give them everything they wanted. But never fear, the self esteem-challenged A.C.C. played the role of the average-looking dope who happened to catch the eye of the hot chick. Notre Dame, by making this move, traded playing Michigan and Michigan State for Duke and Maryland.  “It’s not you, B1G, it’s me.  I got into this relationship with these folks on the coast.  Yeah, I know, I’ll miss you, too…. suckers.”
          I have to give them their due.  Notre Dame will play twelve games, lose three, end up in the top 8, and play the S.E.C. second-place team in a B.C.S. Bowl from now until we all realize that even though they have not been relevant since before Friends aired on NBC, they outsmarted us all. 
Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.