Monday Monologue 09.10.12

Posted on Posted in Michigan Football

Want to let your special someone know that you care? Tell them you need them more than Michigan’s offensive line needs David Molk back.

Yeah, the running game was pretty atrocious. So bad that Denard Robinson accounted for 101% of the total offense. It’s the first such statistical oddity since Charlie Weis was measured in at 108% body fat.

Speaking of Charlie Weis, his former team Notre Dame goes to East Lansing to play MSU this week. Unfortunately, both teams can’t lose. Picking a team to root for in this game is like deciding which Pauly Shore movie is the best. No matter what, you’ll be ashamed to answer
with any of the choices.

Devin Funchess is a ridiculously good freshman TE that helped Michigan win on Saturday. He was voted Big Ten Freshman of the week. He has been called many different nicknames across twitter, and this week’s Big Ten list puts them all in one place, as well as adding some (hopefully) clever new ones. Without further ado…

The Big Ten List: Best Nicknames for Devin Funchess

12. Play that Funchess Music (@LanceGordon)
11. Crunch ‘N’ Funch (@LanceGordon)
10. Breakfasts, Funches, and Dinners (@LanceGordon)
9. Grand Funchess Railroad (@TheRedOne93)
8. Devin: The Funchess of York (@78grams)
7. The Funchise (A bunch of people over the weekend)
6. Funchess gets bunches (@B1E2N3S4)
5. Devin F*** Yes (@LanceGordon)
4. Captain Funch (@LanceGordon)
3. Honey Funchess of Oats (@mark_blosser)
2. Rolling with the Funchess (@TheRedOne93)
1. Girls Just Want to Have Funchess (@TheRedOne93)

Special recognition to @TheRedOne93 for nailing down the #1, #2, and #9 spots. He’s a Nebraska guy, but he jumped on this category with reckless abandon.

Follow me on twitter @LanceGordon.

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.