Monday Monologue 08.27.12

Posted on Posted in Michigan Football

Earlier today, Braxton Miller was supposed to be at a team press conference, but according to sources, he didn’t show up, and nobody knew where he was. Reporters asked 3 of his wide receivers where he was, but much like Braxton Miller’s passes, the question went 10 feet above their heads.

Later this week, the college football season begins. Around the Big Ten, many teams have high aspirations. Michigan, MSU, Nebraska, and Wisconsin are chasing a conference title. Minnesota and Illinois are looking to bounce back from disappointing seasons. And Indiana is pleased to announce that they are halfway through the rebuilding years, a process that began 11 years ago, after Antwaan Randle El left for the pros.

Ohio State cannot play in a bowl game, so they are out to spoil everyone else’s season. That’s right, their goal is to ruin football for everyone. This puts them in the same category as “couple that schedules wedding on fall Saturday”, NFL replacement refs, and Matt Millen. Sounds about right.

With Michigan going down to JerryWorld for a game against Alabama, it is time.
Big Ten List: World’s Shortest Bama Books:

12. “Times I’ve Smiled: A Photo Album” – By Nick Saban (@LanceGordon)
11. “Staying Loyal to Your Employer” – By Nick Saban (@LanceGordon)
10. “Why We Refer to Our Cousins as ‘The Missus'” By Alabama Fans (@HolySmHoke)
9. “Games We’ve Played North of the Mason-Dixon Line” (@jebbe1977)
8. “85 Scholarships MEANS 85 Scholarships!!!” – By Nick Saban (@LanceGordon)
7. “Sobriety During Sideline Interviews” – By Joe Namath (@JoshuaHenschke)
6. “Stopping Tom Brady and David Terrell” – By 1999-2000 Alabama Football (@SteveCKays)
5. (Number 5 was supposed to be contributed by Alabama’s football players, but none of them have ever heard of a book)
4. “Talking Good: A Grammatical Introduction to Alabaman Dialects” (@joeley)
3. “Players We Didn’t Pay to Attend Alabama” – By Alabama Coaches/Boosters (@PsychoBuckeye)
2. “Everything We Know About Dental Hygiene” – By The State of Alabama (@LanceGordon)
1. “Clutch Kicking: Bowl Game Edition” – By Ryan Pflugner (@SteveCKays)

Go Blue and Beat Bama!!!

Please follow me on Twitter @LanceGordon

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.