Monday Monologue 07.16.12

Posted on Posted in Michigan Football

Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter @LanceGordon. Look for his “Monday Monologue” series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 07.16.12

This seemingly blasphemous hat was spotted at a retail store. However, upon further inspection, it’s a pretty accurate hat. The whole time, the Notre Dame logo is sitting there looking like it is going to win, but eventually the Michigan logo comes out on top of Notre Dame. Very reminiscent of the last 3 football games between the 2 schools.

Notre Dame fans are reportedly lining up in droves to buy the hat, as they can stay true to their school, yet still support a winning program.

A coworker told me around this time last year that “the Buckeyes will win at least 10, no matter who is QB, because come on, it’s OSU.” On the heels of their 6 win season, this dude is predicting a 12-0 campaign this year. This could have something to do with Columbus replacing its water supply with a liquid known as “Urban Koolaid”. Regardless, my expert prediction for the Buckeyes is 8-4, based on this dude giving them an extra 4 wins every year.

Announcing a new Monday Monologue Top 10 series that will run all the way until college football season, The World’s Shortest Books. Here is the schedule:

7/16 – MSU
7/30 – That School in Ohio
8/13 – Rest of the Big Ten
8/20 – Notre Dame
8/27 – Alabama

As always, get your submissions sent on Twitter. And without further ado, here are the Top 10 World’s Shortest Sparty Books (with contributors’ twitter handles in parentheses)

10. “Spartan Heisman Winners” (@mark_blosser)
9. “Recruiting High Character Athletes” – Mark Dantonio (@SteveCKays)
8. “Things I’ve done since my National Championship” by Mateen Cleaves (@mark_blosser)
7. “National Recruiting Successes” (@JMatth313)
6. “Player Discipline” by Mark Dantonio (@LanceGordon)
5. “How to Act Like You’ve Been There Before” (@kaimundwiler)
4. “Memories from Pasadena” (@LanceGordon)
(Author Note: many variations of this were submitted, all of which were hilarious, but I went with my own, so I didn’t have to pick one)
3. “You’ve Made it into the BCS: Now What?” (@LanceGordon)
2. “From Sectionals to Sofas: A Sparty’s Guide to Respecting Furniture After a Loss.” (@supprtbradyhoke)
1. “Target Practice” by Plaxico Burress (@jebbe1977)

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.