Monday Monologue: 04.23.12

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Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter @LanceGordon. Look for his “Monday Monologue” series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 04.23.12

At the NFL Draft combine, former Buckeyes offensive lineman Mike Adams tested positive for marijuana, causing his draft stock to likely plummet. Urban Meyer was disappointed to learn that Adams had already used up his 4 years of eligibility, because this news made Adams a great candidate for the “circle of trust”.

Over the weekend, the Buckeyes held their spring game. Over 80,000 people were there, and just under a million teeth.

Urban Meyer raised a stir by punishing the losing team of the spring game by having them perform community service. Say what you will about Urban Meyer, but let’s face it, there is no better way to get kids to be Buckeyes than punishing them with community service, something just about all their players will eventually go through.

In an interview with ESPN’s Joe Schad, Meyer said that due to the bowl ban, the school is treating all 12 of their games as bowl games. 12 bowl games? I am no stock market expert, but if you could buy stock in Columbus tattoo shops, now would be the time to do it.

Metta World Peace, formerly Ron Artest, put a vicious elbow on James Harden’s face yesterday. Despite overwhelming video evidence, “World Peace” got on Twitter and said that he didn’t see Harden there, and that it was an accident. Yeah right, and Ndamukong Suh really was “trying to remove himself from the situation”.

Underperforming Michigan wide receiver Jerald Robinson made headlines by getting an arrest warrant for destroying a parking-gate arm of a local parking lot. Like many of the passes thrown his way, the warrant was later dropped.

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.