Monday Monologue: 04.09.12

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Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter @LanceGordon. Look for his “Monday Monologue” series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 04.09.12

Over the weekend, a picture of Jared Sullinger surfaced on the internet and went viral. Though this photograph was incredibly awkward, it should be noted that Sullinger looked much tougher in the dress than he did in the Kansas game.

Public service announcement: Gas prices are pretty ridiculous these days, so if you’re looking to catch a ride, looks like there are a bunch of available seats on the Red Sox bandwagon that just opened up.

Potheads gathered for the infamous “Hash Bash” on Saturday in Ann Arbor. This event has been an annual staple since 1973. Earlier in the week, for the first time ever, the city of Detroit hosted a similar event, which was hosted by Mikel LeShoure and Nick Fairley.

Michigan QB commit Shane Morris has another year left of high school, but he is almost ready for Big Ten defenses. I mean, one look at his twitter mentions, and you will see constant swarming, pursuit, and pressure from jersey chasers. Being in a real-life AXE commercial certainly requires more elusiveness, improvisation, and quick-decision making than beating the Minnesotas of the world.

CBS Sports once reported that Joe Paterno was dead, but he was actually alive. CBS reported Trey Burke was going pro, but he is actually staying. I am begging CBS to come out with a report of how I didn’t win the lottery.

The Sporting News reported today that during his time at Florida, Urban Meyer’s star players got special treatment from the coach. This shouldn’t be a problem in Columbus, as the team he inherits has no star players.

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.