Monday Monologue 3.19.12

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Lance is a diehard Michigan fan based deep in enemy territory (Columbus, Ohio). You can follow him on Twitter @LanceGordon. Look for his “Monday Monologue” series every Monday right here at The Big House Report!

Monday Monologue 03.19.12

Michigan’s basketball team was recently spotted at a local Meijer store. Amazingly, they could all push a shopping cart into the cart corral from 100 yards away, but none of them could stand directly over a shopping cart and drop a bag of Doritos into it.

Michigan fans on Twitter reached new levels of hysteria while discussing the possibility of Devin Gardner moving from QB to WR today. From a distance, it looked like Jared Sullinger’s reaction to any foul being called on him ever.

Elite Ohio junior RB prospect Deveon Smith verbally committed to Michigan over the weekend. Though he is the #1 ranked RB in Ohio, and holds an offer from Urban Meyer, the Buckeye faithful contends that they had no interest in him. In related news, Columbus area grocers have reported a sharp spike in Sour Grape Koolaid.

For retailers, the busiest time of the year is Christmas. For the website awfulannouncing.com, it’s the time of year Charles Barkley tries his hand at covering college basketball.

One of the most unintentionally funny things Barkley said was “Mike Krzyzewski just did a terrific job” after Duke lost to 15-seed Lehigh. It’s not clear whether Barkley was being ignorant or just trying to impress the Duke homers at ESPN enough to offer him a job.

Urban Meyer was spotted on the first plane to Denver after the Peyton Manning news broke, saying Tim Tebow would be the perfect QB to run his offense. A reporter asked Meyer if he could get away with playing an ineligible player at QB. Meyer responded by saying “I asked our AD Gene Smith that same question, and he just laughed and told me that’s the way we’ve been doing it for years”.

Derek Devine
Institutional voice of Alma College during the day, Michigan fanatic at night. Taking TBHR to the next level one post at a time.